The Day That Killed Penis

We all love sex ed, you girls can pretend to be grossed out all you like but theres not a soul on earth who doesn't enjoy watching a teacher squirm at the thought of explaining sex to a class full of 'Inocent' children. I use the term inocent loosely becuase due to the fact I went, and still go, to a public school means that I knew the ins and the outs of sex, or as we used to call it back then 'Doing it' before I was able to multiply... Anway thats enough about my warped school life, time to talk about the issue at hand, Sexual Education.

The first sign of this glorious time of year is the letter sent home to warn parents incase they want to clear up any lies they answered to their sweet little child when he innocently chimed 'Where do babies come from?'. Then rumors start to fly, what we'll be doing this time, will we get to put a condom on a banana or watch some disturbing video presentation about the genitals. Then the boys, and come girls you do it to, count down the days until the big event.

The classroom is noisey alight with excitment and anticipation at the lesson to come, the teacher enters and puts on a slide show about drugs and alchohol, damn do you wish you'd read that letter and you'd know when the correct date is...

Then when the actual day comes all is loud until the teacher comes in and their is a silence so quiet, its almost silent... Yes, that was on purpose... She shuffles awkwardly to the front stammers something about the penis and presses the play button on the 1950's masturbation gives you hairy palms video. Thats what you expect, thats what you love and generally thats what you get, but oh no did one teacher have to go and ruin it for us...

Her name was Mrs.... Wait I can't say that on here.... Anyway she strode confidently to the front and said one word "Penis" there were fits of giggles from around the room and she looked over us disaprovingly and bellowed "I'm going to keep saying these words until there not funny anymore... Penis!" more giggles "Penis" again more giggles "Penis" less giggles this time "Penis" A few people giggled "Penis" just me and a few others giggled "Penis" just I giggled... "Penis" I gave up... Silence... She went through this with Vagina, Scrotum, Testicals, Pubes, Breasts and the lot effectively spoiling half of my favorite words...

Then came the day when we were supposed to be putting condoms on a polysterine penis (No giggles please) but she said that she didn't want to spoil our innocence by doing this with us, she thought we wouldn't know what a condom was, did she not know what kind of school she worked at? Anyway that was the teacher who destroyed sex ed for me... Shame really, lifes not worth living anymore, well... Have a great day!