Firework night, another pointless day where I acomplished nothing

Wizz! Boom! Screams of terror... Yes its that time of year again, the one day a year when its ok to light a massive house engulfing fire in your back garden and shoot military grade rockets into the sky effectly damning the kitchen of every dog owner in a 5 mile radious to a night of chewing, destruction and lets not forget the piles of defecation. Yes I am talking ofcourse about Fire work night...

When I got home from school today the dogs had broken through the door even though we had baricaded it with the couch, she had also emptied the fridge, bins and cupboards of their contents, luckily she hadn't wrecked any other rooms she was just channeling her destructive energy into our kitchen. The floor was littered with potatoe skins and carrot peelings with occasional chunk of wood or pool of pee, it looked like there had been an air raid on an organic farm... This is only the begining for as I write the first fireworks are going off and my dogs are begining to howl it won't be long until the chairs are half way down the garden nothing more than tattered shreds, it won't be long until the living room is turned into a shit mine-field, it won't be long before the andrex advert is taken to a whole new level... Its a count down to the apocolypse...

All of this aside fireworks can be fun, I mean what better way to piss your horrible evil nieghbours then sending a bomb on a stick flying 'Accidently' into their lovley perfectly kept garden, I AM NOT saying you should do this because I'd have the fire department on my ass... Im also not saying that I do it... Erm... Moving swiftly on...

Have you ever seen an old lady chased round the garden by a catherine wheel? No you say... Well you haven't lived. Imagine yourself sitting in a small dark garden surronded by your family when all of a sudden its grannies turn to light the rocket, everyone runs for cover and puts on their protective helmet as she shuffles slowly yet surely towards the firework. The family wait with bated breath as the poor unsuspecting old dear lights the wheel and shuffles away hastily when there is a loud screeching noise as the fuse hits the gun powered and everyone realises one disturbingly funny thing... SHE FORGOT TO NAIL IT TO THE TREE. The catherine wheel bursts in to life rolling towards granny as she screams and shuffles away at her to speed 0.05 mph... After ten minutes of screaming and silent grinning someone takes granny inside to sit out the rest of the evening in peace. After she is safely out of ear shot the wild laughter begins, it shouldn't be funny, its evil, cruel, horrible and yet still side splitingly hilarious... Wow, it almost makes the other 364 days worth it...

Well I hope you've enjoyed my insight into firework night, and remember, have a great fire work night!