The Civic Bonfire

Tonight I have been to a Civic Bonfire, now does anyone know what makes it Civic? I don't either... Anway first we arrived there and had to park about five miles down the road, we got out the car and walked down the road there was a man on a motorbike coming down the road, nothing unusual about it he wasn't speeding or anything then this old lady pulled right in front of him and the man slammed into the side of her car, he went flying and landed with a crunch, my mum screamed 'OH MY GOD' at the top of her lungs and the mans bike skidded across the road breaking into little pieces as it went, then man lay there for a few seconds then I saw his arm to twitch and heard him say 'Son of a bitch...' Thank god, he was alive. The old lady stepped out of her car and pottered over to the man who had just stood up she said in her tiny old frail voice "Are you alright duck?" she spoke like she had trodden on his toe not slammed him with her people carrier... He shouted "Alright! Alright? I'm lucky i'm alive!" he looked like he was going to headbut her, but sadly he didn't, wow that sounded cruel I didn't mean it to come out like that, anyway in a state of shock me and family moved on so we wouldn't miss the fireworks.

Fat chance of that happening we got to the bonfire and the actual fire wasn't even lit yet, there was just a big stack of industrial pallets with a stuffed guy on top, we sat for 45 minutes in the freezing cold while a gang of drunk twelve year olds stood next to us swore and passed fags around... Oh the joys of our area... Then a obviously intoxicated girl staggered over to me and asked if she could take a picture with me, naturally I was flattered but she did look somewhat like road kill so I politely declined... Then the fire was lit, it went up like nothing I'd ever seen, the whole thing a towering inferno in seconds, the heat was so intencely blistering we all had to run backwards clutching out faces because of they were being melted clean off. After another half an hour the fire started to die down and we were all rubbing our sore red faces.

It was now an hour since we had arrived and we had already seen a car crash and a bonfire come and go and yet no fireworks, I was starting to get impatient, I stood rubbing my hands together for warmth as more stoned, smashes and stupid teenagers fell over and slammed up against me. Then over the awful music (Featuring such crap as Amorillo, Barbie Girl, The Final Countdown, Simply The Best, Poker Face and of course The Makerena) came the announcment, "Now theres only ONE MORE HOUR until the fireworks begin" a wave of moans swept through the crowd through the cold, the hammered, the young, the old, the burn't and the suicidal...

After another hour of intence boredom and sever frost related numbness in all my limbs the intercom sounded again over the horrendous tunes and this time it said "Due to a change in wing direction I need you to all move east-wards" No one knew which way east was and it took another thirty minutes to herd all the idiots that way, then, finally the fireworks began, they came thick and fast, loud and colourful. They exploded in dozens and trios and in there hundreds. They screeched and twirled and boomed in a lovley display of colours and smoke. Through out the display I couldn't help thinking, What if one of those rockets went of course and blew half of the audience into meaty chunks... That might put a downer on the whole experience... The fireworks were beautiful and lasted a whole ten minutes and with a feeble finale of fire spelling out 'OOOD NGH' instead of the intended good night it was finished. We head home being warry of elderly drivers and motorbikes, luckily we got home in one piece, and I had a big ass lolly to eat. The joy. And good night to you all and even though as i'm writing this the clock is striking 11... Have a great day!